


Justice League 2017

by Fictionstv



Series: DC Parodies [3]
Category: Justice League (2017), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionstv/pseuds/Fictionstv
Summary: Parody of Justice League (2017) replacing Superman with Supergirl. Batman recruits meta-human allies to fight swarms of Parademons and Steppenwolf who has invaded Earth. The dysfunctional team must work out their differences while keeping Steppenwolf from utilizing the motherboxes.
Relationships: Diana (Wonder Woman) & Bruce Wayne
Series: DC Parodies [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779172
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

Kara was enjoying a nice fiery ruin after a neat explosion when a few annoying kids with a cell phone came up to her. "Supergirl! Supergirl, can we ask some questions?" the kid asked obnoxiously.

"Sure, kid," Kara said politely realizing she was being filmed.

"How many people have you saved?" the kid asked.

"Well…I didn't really keep count," Kara said awkwardly and couldn't think of one.

"Does the S stand for hope?" the kid continued.

"It sure does," Kara smiled. "The symbol is my family crest. It runs like a river, coming and going."

"What's the best thing about Earth?" the kid asked finally.

"Well…I'm going to have to get back to you on that," Kara said sheepishly.

* * *

**Justice League 2017**

* * *

**Gotham**

A clueless burglar was confronted by Batman on the rooftops of an old apartment complex in Gotham. As soon as he saw Batman in the darkness, he dropped his booty and put his hands up. "I'm sorry. Please, don't kill me," he begged for mercy.

"Too late," Batman advanced on him.

"Oh, God, have mercy," the burglar said as he fled.

Batman easily caught up to him and tied him up. "Pray to me!" Batman said menacingly as he held the burglar over the edge.

The burglar babbled fearfully as he was held face down towards the street. "What do you want?" he asked Batman.

"Just your fear. It attracts them," Batman said and then released Scarecrow's gas on him. The burglar immediately started freaking out.

A Parademon creature flew towards Batman attracted by the burglar's fear. Batman quickly released the burglar sending him to his death and was caught up by the Parademon. The two fought in midair and then fell back down on the rooftop. Batman engaged the Parademon in hand-to-hand combat and then used a net gun to pin the giant mosquito to a wall.

Batman looked over the struggling creature. "You are one ugly mother-fucker," Batman remarked.

Just like the Predator, the Parademon exploded in self-destruction revealing three glowing box outlines. "What the hell?" Alfred wondered as he sipped his coffee.

"I still get the kill," Batman grinned.

"Noted," Alfred said dryly and then gave Batman another tally on the night's kill count.

"It's like the others. These three boxes must mean something. We have to get the others," Batman said.

* * *

**London**

Men, in clown masks, barged into a bank with automatic rifles. They quickly overwhelmed the guards and then took hostages. One of the clowns placed a suitcase on a table, opened it, and armed the bomb inside.

Diana watched the scene unfold coincidently while perched on top of Lady Justice. "Time to deliver justice," Diana said seriously.

Inside the bank, one of the clowns was nabbed by Diana's lasso of truth. "Who are you?" she demanded.

"A clown," he replied.

"I can see that. Who are you working for?" she demanded.

"A clown," he repeated.

Diana sighed. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I was hired by a clown and here I am," he said.

Diana tossed the worthless clown guard aside and then made a grand entrance against the hostage-takers. The clowns fired on Diana, but she was able to dodge their fire and beat down each of the clowns except their leader. Diana then took the bomb suitcase, leaped up into the attic, and threw the bomb suitcase high in the air where it exploded harmlessly.

Diana then engaged the lead clown and was about to put her bracelets together. "Let's not be too hasty," the clown said and then took off his mask revealing the Joker.

"Joker, how did you escape?" Diana demanded.

"Well, you see, I was allowed out by a certain Dark Knight. You see, every time I get out, I recruit criminals and thugs to do my bidding. He captures, brands, and sometimes kills my men, but he always gives me a way to escape again," Joker revealed smiling.

"Why would he do this?" Diana doubted.

"It's a game we play with each other. He needs me to bring to the surface the scum of the underworld," Joker said simply.

"And you just go along with this?" Diana asked.

"It's a lot of fun. You should try it," Joker suggested.

"Well, you're not going back to Arkham this time," Diana threatened.

"Yeah, I am going to leave now. If you need to get a hold of me, here's my card," Joker said and put a Joker card on the table.

"You think you can kill people, hold all of these people hostage, nearly destroy four city blocks, and think you can walk away?" Diana asked outraged.

"Yeah," Joker said nonchalantly and began walking backward to the door.

"Well, you can't," Diana told him.

"Oh, really?" Joker said revealing a coat full of grenades.

Diana hesitated not knowing what to do. "So, I'll be going now. Nice meeting you," Joker said politely and then strolled out.

Diana shook her head. "I need to talk to Bruce."

* * *

**Norway**

Bruce was long gone off the coast of Norway. He flew his private helicopter right outside a village, finished his liquor bottle, and then made his way to the village bar. After having a few more drinks, he gathered the village people around him.

"I'm looking for a guy that talks to fish. Anybody hear of him?" Bruce asked slightly drunk.

One of the villagers matching Arthur's description came forward with icy blue eyes and long black hair. "Who's asking?" he demanded.

"A very rich man. Enemies are coming. I need warriors. I'm making an alliance to defend ourselves," Bruce said to him.

Arthur smiled at the fellow villagers and spoke to them in his native Norwegian. "Yeah, I can speak a little Norwegian, so _you…_ can go fuck yourself," Bruce said impulsively.

Arthur grabbed Bruce by the jacket collar and pinned him against the wall. "Arthur Curry, the Aquaman," Bruce confirmed.

"What of it?" Arthur asked.

"Do you like fish sticks?" Bruce smirked.

"Yeah, why?" Arthur asked confused.

"That makes you a gay fish," Bruce smiled and patted Arthur on the chest.

"Why?" Arthur wondered.

"Because you see you like…you know…whatever, fuck it," Bruce tried to explain.

"Piss off, rich boy," Arthur said and exited the bar.

Bruce followed after Arthur. "A war is coming. If you want to save these people, we have to work together."

"How's that? This place is in the middle of nowhere. Whatever is coming isn't coming here," Arthur doubted.

"Well, what happens when it affects the oceans?" Bruce asked.

"I don't mind the seas rising," Arthur smirked.

"Even if it boils?" Bruce questioned.

"Look, I'm King of the oceans. It's a lot of responsibility. The moment these freaky aliens start affecting my waters, I'll give you a call," Arthur said and then dived into the water.

* * *

Bruce left on his private jet back to Gotham. After a few martinis, he decided to shave off his beard he had grown yesterday. Alfred was on the jet as well to ensure the drunken Bruce didn't think to fly the jet himself.

"So, how do you hope to connect with this Aquaman?" Alfred asked.

"I discreetly put a tracking device up his ass," Bruce said simply.

"Ah, you are quite good at that," Alfred remarked. "By the way, I have made some progress with Barry Allen. He lives in Central City. He's completely off the grid, but I have located his father," Alfred said helpfully.

"Where?" Bruce asked curiously.

"In prison, for murdering his mother," Alfred said seriously.

"Well, God damn," Bruce said amused.

"Young Barry protested his innocence, but he was nine and nobody listened to him," Alfred continued.

Bruce yawned already bored. "Do we have a man in the prison?"

"Of course, we'll find him," Alfred said confidently.

"What about Diana?" Bruce asked.

"She had a run-in with the Joker. Nothing really happened," Alfred said.

"Did the Joker get away?" Bruce asked concerned.

"As a matter of fact, he did," Alfred said.

"Good, I should be the one to bring him in," Bruce said seriously.

Alfred rolled his eyes. "I also have a partial facial recognition match on Victor Stone. He's apparently dead."

"Well, fuck," Bruce said disappointed.

"Don't you feel nostalgic for the days of exploding penguins?" Alfred smiled.

Bruce shook his head. "That penguin was one fat bastard," he recalled.

"I don't recognize this world without Mr. Burton in it," Alfred said finishing his drink.

"We don't have to recognize it. We just have to save the shit out of it," Bruce replied.

* * *

**Central City**

Barry Allen came into the visiting room of his father's prison and started working on the forms. "Can you hurry it up," a bigger older man behind him complained.

Barry smirked and turned around. "What? You have a problem?" the man asked.

Barry used his quick speed to draw penises all over the man's face. "None," Barry said and then wrote his signature with the sharpie.

"Really? A sharpie?" the prison guard asked unimpressed. "You know where to go."

Barry sat down across from his father with glass between them. "Hey, dad," Barry said awkwardly.

"Have you lost your virginity, yet?" his father asked.

"No," Barry sighed.

"It's alright, son. Not everyone can be straight," his father said.

"I'm not gay!" Barry said a little too loudly. "Anyway, I am going to get a criminal justice degree."

"What for?" his father wondered.

"So, I can investigate mom's murder and set you free," Barry said obviously.

"Son, you're wasting your life trying to free me. It will never happen. Don't hold yourself back," his father advised.

"I will exonerate you," Barry said determinedly.

"Son, I killed your mom. I did It with a hammer. I confessed to it. I showed them the murder weapon. I took the stand and admitted to it. The jury took only thirty minutes to convict me," his father said.

"The investigation was flawed," Barry insisted.

"Barry, I don't want to get out of prison. I am getting so much ass in here you wouldn't believe," his father said.

"Dad, no," Barry shook his head.

"Barry, stop coming to see me, alright. Live your life," his father said then hung up on him.

* * *

**Metropolis**

In the wreck of the Kryptonian ship, Silas Stone worked around the clock on new alien technology. A punk-ass intern came up to him with a lollipop in his mouth. "Mr. Stone. They want to do another test on _it_ ," he said.

"Alright," Silas said with tired eyes.

"I know I haven't been here for very long, but can you tell me where "it" came from?" the intern asked.

"You know what they told me? Don't ask," Silas replied and then entered a vault alone. He looked over a glass case containing the motherbox and then another case showing a robotic skeleton arm.


	2. Chapter 2

Silas Stone came home late at night to find his cyborg son still awake. "Victor, you're not stuck up here," he said to him.

"It's midnight. What am I supposed to do?" Victor asked annoyed.

"You can have a life, go to the clubs," Silas suggested.

"Really?" Victor said turning to face his father.

"You are the future, Victor. Soon, everyone will be like you," Silas said ambitiously.

"You want to make more people like me?" Victor asked incredulously.

"Soon, I am going to install more bad-ass weapons on your frame and then connect you to the defense grid. You will have complete control over our long-range nuclear bombers," Silas said excitedly.

"You're turning me into a terminator," Victor realized.

"This the beginning of the Revolution," Silas said.

"What the...," Victor wondered.

"Black Power mother-fucker!" Silas said to him.

"Wait...Dad, no," Victor said feeling uncomfortable.

"Son, it's time to get woke. Use all that processing power and get WOKE!" Silas shouted.

"I need to get some air," Victor said and left the apartment.

"Well, at least I got him out of the house," Silas sighed.

* * *

**Themyscira**

The Amazonians gathered around the motherbox in a large dome structure. Queen Hippolyta entered the structure for her daily briefing on the mystical object. She looked over her warriors who had arrows ready to strike the thing if anything were to happen.

"I've noticed the uniforms have become a lot sluttier recently," Queen Hippolyta remarked.

"It's the director," General Antiope excused.

Queen Hippolyta nodded not surprised. "Have there been any changes?"

"Not since it awoke," Gen. Antiope replied.

"It hasn't been active in thousands of years. Why did it awake at all?" Queen Hippolyta wondered.

The motherbox then cracked open and a portal appeared from the ceiling. The Amazonians readied their weapons as Steppenwolf dropped down to the floor with a large scythe blade in his hands.

"Steppenwolf," Queen Hippolyta glared.

"Amazonians," he addressed. "I have come in peace."

"Why are you here?" Queen Hippolyta demanded.

"My former master Darkseid has conquered countless worlds. He has turned the native inhabitants into his slaves but some have managed to escape. I am leading them to freedom from Darkseid. I request asylum on your world," Steppenwolf explained.

"Why should we trust you? You tried to conquer this world for Darkseid," Queen Hippolyta recalled.

"Noble Queen, that was five thousand years ago. Let it go," Steppenwolf said condescendingly.

"No, fuck yourself," Queen Hippolyta said angrily.

Steppenwolf sighed. "I'm trying to be a good guy for once."

"There is no such thing as a good guy," Queen Hippolyta said.

"Really? Even after five thousand years, you're still following that feminist bullshit. I think you just need to get laid," Steppenwolf suggested.

"How dare you!" Gen. Antiope said offended.

"Oh, I see what's going on," Steppenwolf smirked.

"Your request for asylum is denied. Piss off," Queen Hippolyta said.

"I tried to be nice. Alright, boys, move out," Steppenwolf called out.

A swarm of giant mosquito Parademon soldiers with laser rifles came out of the portal and overwhelmed the Amazonian warriors. Queen Hippolyta quickly used her lasso to take the motherbox away with her. As she ran to the exit, Amazonian guards tore down the wood support beams trapping Steppenwolf inside.

"Like that's going to stop me," Steppenwolf said unimpressed and slashed his way through the walls to the outside.

Queen Hippolyta got on horseback and gave Steppenwolf the middle finger as she rode away. Steppenwolf leaped up and slammed his blade down on the ground knocking Queen Hippolyta off her horse. "Bitch, please," he said amused.

Parademons attacked Amazonian warriors from the air forcing them off their horses. Queen Hippolyta took a bow and arrow and shot at Steppenwolf, but he merely flicked it away. "Really?" he smirked.

A large Calvary of Amazonians descended upon the plains towards Steppenwolf. "Oh, shit!" he realized.

"Yeah, you're in a world of hurt," Queen Hippolyta said to him.

"Good thing you're confined to this island," Steppenwolf said as the Parademons gathered around him.

"Coward, stay and fight!" she yelled at him.

"Err...no," Steppenwolf said and used a portal to take himself, his Parademons, and the motherbox away with him.

* * *

The Amazonians regrouped in an ancient structure on the coast. Queen Hippolyta took a flaming arrow and shot into the sky. "Will she be enough?" Gen. Antiope asked.

"I doubt it, which is why there is plan B," Queen Hippolyta said and then went over to a sophisticated projector signal. She pushed a button creating an intense beam of green light into the sky. The signal went across the galaxy in the hopes the planet's protector would receive it.

Meanwhile, Diana was working on restoring an ancient Greek statue in Paris. "What did you do this weekend?" the museum director asked.

"I fought some clowns," Diana said.

"You, too, hmm," the director muttered.

Diana then watched the TV and saw a news report that an ancient Greek temple was on fire. "Invasion," she realized.

* * *

**Metropolis**

Martha Kent came to visit Jimmy Olsen at the Daily Planet. "I'm sorry I'm interrupting your work," she said apologetically.

"Mrs. Kent, I work on my own schedule," Jimmy assured her.

"It's just with Jonathon and Kara dead, you're the only family I got. I know you two weren't officially married, but I have no doubt you two fucked like rabbits," Martha said.

"That's right," Jimmy agreed. "She was the only woman I ever loved."

"You mean she was the only one you had sex with?" Martha wondered.

"Oh, hell no, Mrs. Kent. I have been with literally hundreds of women," Jimmy clarified.

"You know, back in the old days before I met Jonathon, I was quite the wild one," Martha smiled.

"I bet you were," Jimmy didn't doubt it.

Martha sighed. "The bank is trying to foreclose on my house."

"That's a shame. You go ahead and take this," Jimmy said giving her a suitcase filled with cash.

"Where did you get this?" Martha asked amazed.

"Some African warlord. You go take this blood money," Jimmy said.

"You're the best son I could ever have," Marta said gratefully.

"You know, we could be a lot more than that," Jimmy said seductively.

"Oh, behave," Martha scolded.

An Asian reporter came in and stared at the suitcase filled with money. "Hey, Jimmy, can you give me your source from the university?" he asked.

"No, go fuck yourself," Jimmy replied.

"Right...," the Asian reporter said awkwardly and left the room.

Jimmy turned to Martha. "There is no source. Half the stuff I do here, I make up," he admitted.

"No one reads newspapers anyway," Martha excused.

"Mrs. Kent, you look awfully thirsty. Is there anything I can get you," Jimmy offered.

* * *

**Gotham Outskirts**

Diana strolled towards a warehouse on the outskirts of Gotham. As she got closer, machine gun turrets immediately fired on her. "Holy shit!" she realized and used her arm-bracelets to deflect the barrage of bullets. Taking her sword and shield, she leaped up and destroyed the turrets. Mines behind her started exploding in rapid succession. Running towards the warehouse at top speed, she avoided the exploding mines and machine gunfire.

Diana finally entered the warehouse bleeding and with tattered clothes. Bruce was working on his transport jet when Diana arrived. Music from Taylor Swift could be heard from the loudspeakers. "That one, I think this caused the alien to go crazy," Bruce said referring to the music.

"We have a visitor, FYI," Alfred said dryly.

"You know, I paid millions of dollars for this building's security," Bruce said as Diana came up.

"You asshole, you could have gotten me killed," Diana said bitterly.

Bruce turned to look at her ruined clothes that revealed too much. "Nice," he said pleased. "Next time, give me a phone call you're coming, so I can shut it down."

"I did," Diana said displeased.

Bruce checked his phone and sure enough, she had called. "Well, call me when I am not completely drunk," Bruce advised.

"You mean, never," she said annoyed.

"Why are you here anyway?" Bruce wondered.

"We're under attack," Diana told him.

* * *

Diana and Bruce strolled out near the lake as they discussed ancient history. "Sounds like a Lord of the Rings knock off," Bruce commented and threw his empty beer can into the lake.

"What?" Diana asked.

"You haven't read Lord of the Rings? I thought that's all you did: read," Bruce said surprised.

"I only read books written by women," Diana corrected.

"Must have been a small library then," Bruce said insultingly.

Diana stepped on his foot. "Fuck," he cried out in pain.

"The motherboxes create doorways to other worlds. If all three are put together, it will allow Steppenwolf's army to overwhelm the Earth," Diana said seriously.

"Sounds badass. Why do we want to stop this from happening?" Bruce asked.

"Because billions of lives are at risk," Diana said obviously.

"Don't worry about it. Even if we can't save the Earth, we can certainly avenge it," Bruce said.

"What does that even mean?" Diana demanded.

"You said there were three of these things. Where are they?" Bruce asked.

"He has the one from Themyscira. The other one is safeguarded in Atlantis. The last one is unknown. The tribes of men buried the motherbox in a secret location so no tribe could take it for themselves," Diana explained.

"Look, if I am going to fight Steppenwolf in an epic battle, I am going to need others to make a path through his army of giant mosquitoes. We need allies," Bruce said.

"Like who?" Diana asked.

"I have a signal on one of the recruits: Barry Allen," Bruce said looking at his phone.

"And the other one?" Diana asked.

"Oh, he's dead. He got blown the fuck up, pieces everywhere, parts of his brain on the floor. He ain't coming back from that," Bruce said.

"Ahem," Diana said uncomfortably.

"What?" Bruce asked.

"Have some respect. We're asking people to risk their lives," Diana said.

"I know...and I'm fine with that," Bruce replied.


	3. Chapter 3

**Central City**

An unsuspecting Barry Allen entered his crummy apartment near the railroad tracks. As he entered, he noticed a middle-aged man sitting in the dark in his chair. As the electricity came on, K-pop music videos and Project Runway appeared on the television screens.

"Barry Allen, Bruce Wayne," Bruce introduced himself.

"You say that like it explains why there is a stranger in my place sitting in my second favorite chair in the dark," Barry said unsettled.

Bruce walked up to Barry and handed him a picture of a boy robbing a liquor store. "Tell me about this?" Bruce accused.

"This is a person that looks exactly like me but is not me," Barry denied. "A very attractive Jewish boy, somebody who may have stolen your pocket watch," Barry added.

"I know. He isn't you," Bruce said looking over Barry's suit.

Barry looked at the picture and realized it wasn't actually him. He had just been tricked into... "Look, I'm not gay," Barry said defensively.

"I didn't say you were," Bruce replied. "I know you have abilities. I just don't know what they are."

"My special skills include violin, fashion design, fluent in French," Barry listed off.

"You're not helping your case," Bruce said to him. "Silicon quartz, abrasive resistant, heat resistant, this material is used on the space shuttles for when they reenter," Bruce noticed.

"I do competitive ice dancing," Barry said.

Bruce simply stared at him. "I'm sure you do."

"Look, whoever you're looking for...," Barry said as a Batarang was thrown at his head.

Barry instinctively moved out of the way and then grabbed it. "You're the Batman?"

"You catch on quick," Bruce said.

"What if I didn't have super-speed?" Barry asked stunned.

"Well, you would have died," Bruce said nonchalantly.

"Is this why you came?" Barry asked confused.

"I'm putting together a team," Bruce began.

"I'm in," Barry said instantly.

"You will likely die horribly from brutal aliens that will eat your flesh," Bruce told him.

"Oh, well, I might have to reconsider then," Barry muttered.

"I have evidence that will exonerate your father. You help me, and your father goes free," Bruce said.

"That sounds fabulous," Barry said gratefully.

"Right...," Bruce said not sure what to make of him.

"Hey, you want to go to brunch with me?" Barry asked hopefully.

"No, and never mention 'brunch' again," Bruce said seriously.

"Well, alright then," Barry said awkwardly.

The two exited the apartment with Barry eating a pizza as they walked towards Bruce's rich car. "Going super-fast requires me to burn a lot of calories, so I eat a lot. You could say that I am a hole for snacks. I really like putting things in that hole if you know what I mean," Barry babbled.

"I get it," Bruce said knowingly.

"How many people are on this special fight team?" Barry asked.

"Three, including you," Bruce replied.

"Is the other team member just like you?" Barry asked.

"What do you mean?" Bruce smirked.

"You know, a guy, older, looks like he works out," Barry listed.

"No," Bruce shook his head.

"What are your superpowers again?" Barry asked as he got in the car.

"I'm rich," Bruce said annoyed and then played Taylor Swift on the radio to torture him.

"Oh my God, you listen to Taylor Swift? I have all her albums. I love her," Barry said enthusiastically.

"Good God," Bruce muttered.

* * *

**Norwegian Coast**

A fishing boat sent out a distress call as Parademons attacked it. The ship was nearly sunk when Aquaman arrived and saved one man. He came back to his village and plopped the man on a table. "There were fifteen others," the man gasped.

Aquaman simply stared at him. "Damn," he muttered realizing his mistake. He then looked at his hand and saw green goo with glitter on it.

"They came from the sky...," the survivor muttered.

Aquaman considered the alien threat Bruce had spoken about. Before he would investigate the matter, he was going to need a few drinks. "Whiskey," he ordered.

He walked up to violent waves drinking a bottle of Whiskey. Once he was finished, he threw it down and entered the waves like a badass.

Meanwhile, the motherbox became active again in Atlantis at the bottom of the ocean. A portal opened with Steppenwolf appearing in front of several Atlantis guards. He easily dispatched them with his scythe blade and then confronted Mera.

"We have a common enemy," Steppenwolf said to her.

"How's that?" she asked skeptically.

"The surface dwellers pollute your waters, wage war in your seas, and claim waters that are not their own," Steppenwolf said.

"So?" Mera asked.

"Allow my people to come to Earth, and we will rid the surface dwellers. We will bring this planet back to a simpler time," Steppenwolf offered.

"You are not here to conquer?" Mera asked.

"No, we are refugees fleeing from the wrath of Darkseid. We merely need the motherboxes to rescue the rest of our people," Steppenwolf said.

"Well, in that case, sure," Mera said handing over the motherbox.

Aquaman sprung into attack tackling Steppenwolf. "Stop, you big idiot," Mera said displeased.

The two wrestled in the water until Steppenwolf threw Aquaman into a pillar causing the underwater temple to nearly collapse. Mera watched unimpressed as the two swam at each other unable to hit one another. Steppenwolf eventually took the motherbox and disappeared in a portal.

Mera created an air bubble, so Aquaman could talk to her normally. "What the fuck, Mera?" Aquaman said.

"He promised to get rid of the surface dwellers," she said simply.

"That's fucked up. That's my home," Aquaman said annoyed.

"Your home is with us. You are the King of Atlantis," Mera said to him.

"I'm the King. You hear that?" Aquaman said to the groaning Atlantis guards. "So, shouldn't I have a say in whether a big weird alien should be allowed to have ancient technology that could bring about the apocalypse?"

"In your absence, I am in charge of Atlantis," Mera said scornfully.

"And why is that?" Aquaman asked.

"Because we're married which makes me Queen," she said obviously.

"Yeah, you know, I was piss-drunk when I signed that marriage certificate," Aquaman said bitterly. "And this no divorce law is slavery."

"You should be more responsible. You have a kingdom and child to look after. Instead, all you do is get drunk on the surface," Mera criticized.

"Wait...I have a kid?" Aquaman wondered.

"Yeah," Mera said obviously. "And you owe me on child support," she said displeased.

"Oh, fuck! What's the currency for you people? Shells?" he asked condescendingly.

"Try gold, cheap-ass," she replied.

"Look, I am going back up to the surface to fix your dumb-ass mistake, but I'm going to need something from you," Aquaman said seriously.

"A badass weapon?" Mera smiled.

"Yes, but that's not what I meant," Aquaman said.

Mera shook her head in disappointment. "Come on then," she said.

* * *

**Gotham**

Bruce and Barry exited the private plane at the airport and met up with Diana. "You find the Cyborg?" Bruce asked.

"We spoke. He was an asshole," Diana replied. "You must be Barry," Diana turned to the young man.

"Hi, Diana. That is a very nice outfit," Barry complimented.

"Oh, you like it?" Diana said pleased.

"I know exactly what collection it comes from," Barry continued.

"Ahem," Bruce interrupted.

"Oh, look at that!" Barry said pointing to the bat signal. "That's the bat signal. That's your signal!" Barry said a little too loudly.

"Barry, shut the fuck up," Bruce glared at him.

"Sorry," Barry said awkwardly.

"So, this is the three of us," Diana said unimpressed.

"Let's move," Bruce ordered.

* * *

Batman, Wonder Woman, and the Flash met up at the rooftop of the Gotham City Police Department. Commissioner Gordon was there waiting for them. "You guys look like you just came from comic-con," Gordon remarked.

"Fuck you, too, Gordon," Batman replied.

"So, you didn't kidnap a bunch of STAR lab scientists recently?" Gordon asked nonchalantly.

"No, should I have?" Batman asked.

"I just wouldn't have been surprised if you did," Gordon replied. "Here's a sketch of the potential perp," Gordon said giving Batman the picture.

"Did a five-year-old draw this? It looks terrible," Batman criticized.

"I know, right," Gordon agreed.

"It's a Parademon. The scent of the motherbox must have been on them. They were taken away for questioning most likely," Diana said.

"They may still be alive," Batman reasoned.

"Yes, they're still here," Cyborg said walking up to the rest of the group.

"How do you know?" Gordon asked.

"I can track the Head of STAR lab's cell phone. I know where he is," Cyborg revealed.

"Why would you be tracking his cell phone?" Flash wondered.

"He's my father, moron," Cyborg said uptight.

"Oh, got it," Flash realized.

"So...where are they?" Gordon asked breaking the tension.

"Braxton Island, in the tunnel system. I would have gone myself, but I figured I could get some more help by coming here," Cyborg said.

"We're a team, Victor," Diana assured him.

"You're Victor Stone, an all-American football player at Gotham University? Wow, man. I thought you got blown the fuck up," Gordon commented.

"Thanks for revealing my secret identity," Cyborg said displeased.

"Honestly, I could find out all of your identities in five minutes. I just don't give enough of a shit," Gordon admitted.

"You're a good friend," Batman said sarcastically.

"You know what I just figured out. If I don't turn my back, you can't leave," Gordon said.

"Well, aren't you the clever bastard," Batman replied.

"Commissioner, there's something you're going to want to see," a random police officer said from behind.

"What?" Gordon asked turning around. He then turned back to face the group, but they were all gone. "Son-of-a-bitch," he grumbled.


	4. Chapter 4

Steppenwolf proceeded to interrogate each of the STAR lab scientists on the location of the last motherbox. "I don't want to have to kill any of you. I need the motherbox to save my people. You can understand, can't you? You all have families, right?" Steppenwolf said to them.

"Don't say anything! He wants to colonize us just like the White man and make us slaves," Silas said bravely.

"I'm no white man," Steppenwolf said to him.

"You're sure as hell not black," Silas replied.

One of the other black scientists spoke up. "Silas brought the motherbox to his house."

"Really?" Steppenwolf said turning to Silas.

"How could you betray a brother like that. We're of the same race, God damn it!" Silas said outraged.

"We're all part of the human race, Silas. We didn't say anything about your creepy experiments on your son's corpse for fear of being fired," he said.

"Well, you're definitely fired now," Silas told him.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Justice League assembled right outside Steppenwolf's interrogation room. "Well, you see, I'm afraid of bugs, and guns, and obnoxiously tall people. In full disclosure, I've just pushed people and ran away," Flash said nervously.

"That is the lamest thing I have ever heard. How do you live with yourself?" Batman asked.

"I don't know," Flash admitted.

"Barry, don't be a bitch," Batman advised.

"Oh, sure," Flash said uncertainly. "How about something more specific?"

"Rescue the hostages, but make sure the first ones you save are minorities or you'll be accused of racism," Batman told him.

"But I'm Jewish. I can't be racist," Flash replied.

"Good for you," Batman muttered.

"Leeroy Jenkins mother-fucker!" Cyborg barged into the room all by himself.

"Did he really just do that?" Batman wondered.

Cyborg fired on Steppenwolf with his plasma cannon and started fighting the Parademons. "This one was created from the motherbox. Get him!" Steppenwolf ordered.

Diana dropped in, took hold of Steppenwolf, and crashed through a wall taking all of his forces with him. Flash went ahead and rescued the hostages taking them a great distance away from the fighting. Batman engaged the Parademons killing a few and taking one of their plasma rifles.

"Nice," he said holding his first plasma rifle.

Steppenwolf engaged each other in combat on a metal bridge. "This one is mine!" he said to his Parademons.

"You overestimate yourself," Diana smirked.

"Your mother said otherwise," Steppenwolf retorted.

Enraged, Diana battled Steppenwolf using her sword, shield, and lasso against him.

Batman became quickly overwhelmed by Parademons. "Alfred, I need the Night Crawler," he radioed.

"You mean Jake Gyllenhaal? He's not supposed to replace you for a few more years," Alfred said while sipping his tea.

"The fuck he is," Batman doubted angrily.

Cyborg and the Flash chatted it up with the hostages while Batman and Diana continued to fight. "I wonder what's faster: my processing speed or your running?" Cyborg said casually.

"Dude, back at my place I have a lot of tech I built myself. Want to come by and take a look?" Flash asked.

"Sure, man. What kind of video games do you play?" Cyborg asked.

* * *

Batman fought through several Parademons and jumped into the real Night Crawler. Activating the controls, he fired machine guns at the Parademons and Steppenwolf. "Sorry guys, I didn't bring a sword," Batman said.

Steppenwolf leaped onto the Night Crawler and pried it open with his scythe blade. The metal bridge began to collapse, and Diana lost her sword. She jumped off the collapsing bridge to go get it. Flash came back to the scene and with his super-speed pondered on what to do.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Diana cried out as she went for her sword.

"I wonder what I should do," Flash said to himself.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Diana continued.

"I should probably get that sword for her," Flash figured.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Diana kept going.

"Yeah, I'll go ahead and do that, but I have to make it look really cool," Flash said and then walked on the wall at super-speed towards the sword. He then pointed his finger towards the sword and pushed it back into Diana's hand. "That was so cool," Flash said to himself and then tripped over himself causing him to tumble around on the floor.

"You could have just grabbed it and handed it to me...ass," Diana said to him.

Flash suddenly moved out of the way as the Night Crawler fell on Diana. "Ooh, I should have warned her," Flash realized.

Diana got up and Flash got shot with a plasma rifle. "Serves you right," Diana said annoyed.

"So, you have the old gods in you," Steppenwolf sensed.

Diana brought her bracelets together and blasted Steppenwolf a distance away down the tunnel. "That was slightly inconvenient," Steppenwolf said annoyed.

"Yeah, well, it sure showed you," Diana smiled confidently.

Parademons then grabbed Flash away. "Seriously," Diana muttered as she went to go save him.

Batman came onto the scene and grabbed him a Parademon while Diana rescued Flash. Cyborg rocketed his way to their position and entered the Night Crawler. He plugged himself into the Night Crawler's CPU and took over.

"Thanks, Alfred, but I'll take it from here," Cyborg said.

"The fuck you are," Alfred said and pushed a red button.

Cyborg screamed as he got the shock of his life. Alfred smirked as he finished his tea.

Steppenwolf used his scythe blade to rip into the tunnel wall. "What are we under right now?" Flash asked fearfully.

"Gotham harbor," Batman said gravely.

Water flooded the tunnels towards the Justice League. "You were a pleasant distraction," Steppenwolf smirked and then portaled himself away.

"One of my fears is drowning," Flash said as Batman helped him towards the Night Crawler.

"Barry, remember what I told you," Batman reminded him.

Out of nowhere, Aquaman appeared and utilizing his trident kept the water at bay. The Night Crawler literally crawled up the wall away from the water. Aquaman released his hold on the water and tumbled about in it. Cyborg sensed the motherbox and then rocketed away.

"Did he just bail?" Flash asked.

"That mother-fucker," Batman said angrily.

* * *

Batman met up with Gordon as they watched Gotham Harbor flood into the tunnel system. "Millions in structural damage; you haven't lost your touch for wanton destruction," Gordon remarked.

"It could have been worse. Remember when I created a nuclear bomb, and Bane used it to hold the city hostage?" Batman said.

"Good times," Gordon muttered. "Nice to see you playing well with others again."

Aquaman came up and chuckled upon seeing Batman. "Dressed like a bat, I dig it," he said smirking.

"Could be temporary," Batman muttered.

"Like your last sidekicks?" Gordon asked.

"Like your last wife," Batman shot back. He turned to Aquaman. "What made you come back?"

"Steppenwolf took the motherbox from Atlantis. In return for taking it back, I got this badass weapon and an unlimited supply of mermaid pussy," Aquaman answered.

"Nice," Batman nodded.

"All he needs now is the lost one of man," Diana said seriously.

"Assuming he doesn't already have it," Batman replied.

"No, I have it," Cyborg said dropping in.

"You just made Gotham City one big target. You realize that, right?" Gordon said annoyed.

* * *

The Justice League entered an underground secure fortress. "Wow, it's like a cave. A bat cave," Barry said astounded.

"Barry, shut the fuck up. You make everything sound less cool," Bruce grumbled.

Cyborg brought the motherbox to a table. "The British discovered it during World War I but couldn't even date it," he began.

"I believe one of us was around during that time," Bruce said accusingly.

"You putting this on me? How dare you?" Diana said displeased.

"Anyway, it didn't become active until Supergirl died. Then it lit up like Christmas lights," Cyborg continued.

"Kind of like that movie Independence Day," Flash said.

"Exactly," Cyborg agreed. "My father recognized it as a perpetual energy matrix. He had some dream of taking it to Africa and building his own sophisticated nation. He called it Wakanda or some shit," Cyborg said shaking his head.

"I just thought it was a nuclear bomb," Barry said.

"Barry, everything that comes out of your mouth is retarded," Cyborg critiqued. "My father believed it was key to cellular regeneration."

"He used it on you," Bruce figured.

"I got blown the fuck up. I should have died. My father believed he could use the motherbox to repair the damaged pieces with cybernetic enhancements," Cyborg said.

"I think we can use this thing to resurrect Supergirl," Bruce said.

"What part of my explanation gave you the impression you could use this to resurrect the dead?" Cyborg wondered.

"You know, you take a corpse and jolt it with electricity and it comes back to life," Bruce said simply.

"Bruce, you're drunk. That's not how it works," Diana disputed.

"I think we should try," Bruce argued.

"So, she can become like one of Lex's monsters?" Diana asked.

"If it comes to that, I'll be the one to kill her," Bruce promised.

"Bruce, you're just a man that dresses up like a bat," Diana said bluntly.

"So, it all comes out. My family provided America the industrial might to defeat Hitler during World War II. Where the fuck were you?"

"I don't have to answer to you," Diana shot back.

"Oh, your boyfriend Steve Trevor dies and you go back home to whore island," Bruce said drunkenly.

"Fucker," Diana said punching Bruce back a few steps.

"Damn," Bruce said wheezing. "I am a beacon of justice in Gotham. Why aren't you? Until recently, no one has ever heard of you. No comic books, no TV shows, no movies, no picture on a lunch box. Your boyfriend dies and you shut yourself down," Bruce continued.

"You do know that if she kills you, we'll cover for her," Barry said.

"FYI, if Bruce dies I ignite explosives that will bury you all," Alfred said over the loudspeaker.

"Damn, that's cold," Aquaman said amused.

"It is theoretically possible," Cyborg said breaking the tension.

"Yeah, but in what way? Like, in a pet cemetery kind of way?" Barry asked concerned.

"Barry, that movie came out before you were even born," Bruce discounted.

"You lose something when you die. Maybe not your mind but perhaps your soul," Aquaman chimed in.

"It's alright, she didn't have a soul," Bruce said. "Besides, I have a contingency plan for that."

"If she wakes up, and you're the first one she sees, you'll need one," Diana warned.


	5. Chapter 5

Bruce entered his museum of Medieval weaponry and armor from various cultures. He began working on his new Bat-suit. Alfred came in with a tray of expensive liquor. "Well, that went well," he said dryly.

"She could have stopped me. I practically dared her to," Bruce said amused.

"I don't know why you keep pushing her buttons," Alfred said.

"We have to boost the signal so my music can go through the Batmobile speakers. I want those demons to hear my theme song when I kill them," Bruce said.

"Now, you're changing the subject," Alfred noted.

"I have a contingency plan. If things go south, I'm going to bring out the big guns," Bruce said confidently.

"What about the team?" Alfred asked.

"Fuck'em," Bruce replied. "This is how its always been whether it was Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, Batwoman, and so forth. It's always been about me," Bruce said.

"Just remember who's really in charge," Alfred said taking a drink.

Bruce frowned. "You know, I was thinking."

"That can be dangerous, Master Wayne," Alfred warned.

"Yeah, I was thinking that Supergirl really was just a blond ditz. She grew up with somewhat normal parents, fell in love, and got a job despite all that power," Bruce mused.

"So?" Alfred wondered.

"It just amazes me how people can be poor is all. I can't even fathom being poor," Bruce said disturbed. "I need Supergirl, so I can kick her ass again."

"And what does Supergirl need?" Alfred asked.

"What? Who cares?" Bruce replied.

* * *

**Smallville, Kansas**

Barry and Cyborg were placed on grave-digging duty. "This feels really wrong," Barry said as he worked to get to Supergirl's casket.

"Couldn't you dig this hole a lot faster?" Cyborg asked.

"Yeah, but it just seems disrespectful," Barry replied.

Cyborg paused. "We've been at this for hours, and you could have got this job done in a minute," he said annoyed.

"You want anything to drink. I got lemonade," Martha Kent said from above.

"Thanks, Mrs. Kent," Barry smiled.

"Awkward as hell," Cyborg remarked.

"Why were we assigned to this?" Barry complained.

"Because you can dig a hole in a minute, and I can monitor police radios so we don't get caught...stupid," Cyborg explained.

"Yeah, that does make sense," Barry said and hit the casket with his shovel.

"Alright, fist bump," Barry said putting his hand out.

"No," Cyborg shut him down.

* * *

**Metropolis**

Batman and Diana overlooked the Kryptonian ship as Barry and Cyborg came up to the checkpoint. "I'm here for her," Diana said.

"Nice," Batman smiled.

"That's not what I meant...fuck you," Diana said walking off.

Barry was dressed in an army uniform with Cyborg, Diana, Aquaman, and the casket in the back. He was wearing a beret even though it wasn't necessary. At the checkpoint, Cyborg used his cyber skills to make Barry's ID work. "Okay," the guard said letting Barry pass.

"I just want to say that your uniform looks very sharp," Barry complimented.

"Oh yeah?" the guard asked surprised.

"Just so you know there could be some real fireworks coming out of that ship in a few hours," Barry smiled.

"No kidding?" the guard nodded amusedly.

"Barry, get moving," Cyborg hissed.

"Alright, here I go doing top-secret sciency stuff," Barry said and drove into the base.

Once they got to the ship, all of them got out of the truck and took the casket inside. Cyborg looked over the Kryptonite ship. "This is amazing," he said in awe.

"This is crazy," Aquaman doubted.

"Now, it's crazy," Flash scoffed.

"Barry, shut your face," Aquaman said annoyed. He went over to the casket and opened it revealing Kara Kent in a funeral dress perfectly preserved. "She's hawt, even as a dead woman." He then placed Kara in the brown water down below.

"Probably should make sure I can even work with the system before doing that," Cyborg suggested. He then placed his metal hand on the control panel and created a key for himself to access the system. "Lex Luther fried the circuits bringing his creature to life."

"So, we're done here," Diana said quickly.

"I need a charge," Cyborg said ignoring Diana.

"I might be able to do it," Flash volunteered."I can generate a significant electrical current that could wake up the box if that's what we want to do."

"Should we take a vote on this?" Aquaman asked.

"If you vote for my side, I'll give you ten grand each," Batman said to Flash and Cyborg.

"Sold!" Flash agreed.

"That isn't how democracy works," Diana said angrily.

"It does here," Batman said.

"You have to charge it the moment the box hits the fluid," Cyborg told Flash.

"This is a bad idea," Aquaman said.

"Too late. I already won," Batman smirked.

"Countless lives are at stake. For once in your life, put your ego aside," Diana said to Batman.

Flash went past them and electrified the box as it hit the water. There was a sudden explosion as Kara was awoken. The motherbox went flying and crashed onto a car nearby. Kara was in the air, breathing fresh air for the first time in years. In the explosion, her funeral dress had become shredded, so she was only in her underwear. Cops looked up at the nearly naked girl flying in the air with confusion.

Kara landed near her memorial and shook her head at the ruined memorial. "After all this time, they still haven't fixed it," she muttered.

Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Flash, and Cyborg appeared behind her ready to confront her if she were to go berserk. "She's back," Diana said hopefully.

Kara turned to face them and started scanning each one of them with her X-ray vision. The Cyborg was particularly interesting as she saw how his mechanical side interfaced with his human biology. "She's not alright," Aquaman said concerned, his fears confirmed.

"She's fine," Diana downplayed.

"No, seriously, she looks fucked up," Aquaman insisted.

"She looks nice to me. I mean, look how hot she looks," Flash said.

"Barry, we all know you're gay. Stop pretending," Aquaman shot back.

"I'm not gay, for realz," Flash said defensively.

"She's scanning us. Arthur, you need to calm down. Your adrenalin levels are spiking," Cyborg warned.

"Because, she's obviously not alright," Aquaman said tensely.

Cyborg suddenly activated his plasma cannon and pointed it at Kara. "What the fuck, man?" Flash asked.

"I can't control it," Cyborg said alarmed as he tried to lower the plasma cannon. "It's my armed self-defense system."

"You should get that looked into, buddy," Flash advised.

"Cyborg, control yourself," Diana said condescendingly.

"Stop calling me that. I have a name. It's Victor," Cyborg said annoyed.

Kara eyed the group's banter with a bored expression on her face. Cyborg suddenly fired a blast at Kara missing her completely. "Really?" Kara said unimpressed.

"We cool?" Cyborg asked awkwardly as he regained control of himself.

"Oh, we're cool, tin man," Kara smirked and then blasted him with heat vision. Cyborg blocked the blast with a metal shield on his right arm. The beam became too much for him, but he was able to get out of the way of the beam. The laser beam hit a nearby police car totaling it.

"Kara, no," Diana lectured.

"Pet Cemetery," Flash realized horrified.

Kara took the part that was her head on the statue and threw it at the group. Diana took her sword and sliced it in half harmlessly. "Arthur, we have to restrain her," Diana said to him.

"Easier said than done," Aquaman muttered.

Aquaman leaped towards Kara, but she punched him a good distance away. She then punched Diana's shield sending her back. Cyborg fired an energy blast at Kara's chest causing her bra to sizzle. "That tickled," Kara said annoyed.

Diana threw her lasso around Kara's arm to restrain her. "You must be joking," Kara said as she dragged Diana closer to her.

"Kara Zor-El, last daughter of Krypton, remember who you are," Diana said as she struggled against her.

"Oh, I remember who I am. I'm one bad bitch," Kara said as she pulled Diana closer to her and gripped her armor.

Aquaman and Cyborg quickly took hold of her to restrain her. The three battled to keep Kara from moving, but she easily cast them off. Flash went super-speed to outflank her. Kara eyed the Flash as he approached.

"Yeah, I can see you," Kara smirked at him.

Flash worked desperately to avoid Kara's punches even at super-speed. Kara finally elbowed Flash to the ground. As Kara gave the Justice League an ass-kicking, Batman casually strolled up to the scene. "Kara!" Batman shouted.

"I know you," Kara frowned and calmly walked towards him.

Diana jumped down in between them. "Please, don't make me do this," she said and then prepared her arm-bracelets for an energy discharge.

"Yeah, no," Kara said reaching her in a split second and forcing her arms apart. Kara then head-butted Diana stunning her.

Diana quickly regained her composure and head-butted Kara right back. "Wow, holy shit!" Kara said as she actually felt the blow.

Kara then head-butted Diana right back. "Is this real? Is this really happening?" Batman wondered as the two female titans head-butted each other continuously.

Kara finally dispatched Diana by head butting her to the ground and then landed near Batman. "I can tell you don't have Kryptonite on you. Are you brave or just stupid?" she asked.

"Maybe a little of both," Batman smirked.

Kara felt irked by Batman's confidence. He was just a human in the face of her awesome power. "I could snap your neck in a split second," Kara threatened.

"I know you could," Batman agreed.

There was an awkward pause. "So, do you want me to kill you?" Kara asked him.

"Oh, you won't. No balls," Batman said confidently.

"I could melt your face off in an instant," Kara said angrily.

"You won't," Batman said.

Kara simply stared at Batman. "I'm in position to make the kill shot," Alfred said casually.

Kara's super-hearing caught onto it. She looked around for the sniper butler. "Lead, right?" she asked.

"What do you think?" Batman asked condescendingly.

"A Kryptonite bullet?" Kara assumed.

"Yeah," Batman said obviously.

Kara looked around but Alfred was nowhere to be found. It was even possible that Alfred wasn't even around, but she couldn't take that risk. She knew there were rules for Batman. He wouldn't kill unless it was kicking ass. Alfred had his own set of ethics.

"Damn it," Kara realized.

"We good?" Batman asked.

"I guess. You won't let me live, you won't let me die. Sup with that?" Kara asked annoyed.

"The world needs you to kill some alien warlord and some giant mosquitoes," Batman told her.

"So, what else is new, am I right?" Kara smiled.

"We got a couple of hours or the whole planet is doomed," Batman shrugged.

"Not very original," Kara recalled.

"I know, right," Batman agreed.

"Look, I'll help you losers out, but I have to see Jimmy first. Priorities, you know," Kara said.

"Who the fuck is Jimmy?" Batman wondered.

"Fucker, this is the last time…," Kara advanced on Batman.

"Give the word," Alfred said by radio.

Kara stopped herself just in time. "Yeah, sure, say hello to your mother, too," Batman said sarcastically.

"Maybe I will," Kara replied.

"Not like the entire world isn't at stake," Batman said.

"I know you went to a lot of trouble to resurrect me, and I really appreciate that. But I need to get the blood flowing. Only Jimmy can do that for me," Kara said.

"Well, so you know, when you passed away I married your mom. You can call me daddy, now," Batman said to her.

Kara stared at Batman in horror. "You better be fucking with me," she gasped.

"Yeah, I wouldn't do that…or would I?" Batman teased.

"That's a good one. I'll be right back. Won't be too long," Kara smiled and then shot off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Metropolis**

The Justice League looked at each other dumbfounded. "She just left?" Aquaman asked disappointed.

"Yep," Batman confirmed.

"What did you say to her?" Diana accused.

"Don't worry about it. She's just going home for a while," Batman said unconcerned.

A portal then appeared on top of the motherbox and then it disappeared. "That could be an issue," Cyborg said.

"We're out of time. We have to face Steppenwolf without her," Batman said secretly pleased.

* * *

**Smallville, Kansas**

Kara landed near her old house. Jimmy came out smiling and gave her a hug. "Nice outfit," he complimented.

"It's the underwear they put me in for my funeral," Kara explained.

"That just makes it sexier," Jimmy said.

"Did you fuck any girls while I was dead?" Kara asked jealously.

"You know I did," Jimmy said without fear.

"You're such a stud," Kara patted his chest.

"Why don't we go back inside and make sweet love," Jimmy suggested.

"I should probably see my mom, first," Kara figured.

"Don't worry, she's home," Jimmy told her.

* * *

**Bat Cave**

Aquaman angrily threw stuff around in frustration. "We just got our asses kicked," he said.

"Well, you guys did," Batman corrected.

"Your contingency was using Alfred to snipe her?" Diana asked outraged.

"Yes," Batman replied bluntly.

"You two are quite the team. How about you start being a team player with us," Aquaman said to Batman.

"You guys use all of my facilities and you busted up my Night Crawler," Batman pointed out.

"We simply need to find them. Once combined, they will give off a high energy signature," Diana figured.

"Yeah, true, but I put a tracking device on the last box. I know exactly where it is," Cyborg said calmly.

"When were you planning to tell us?" Aquaman asked outraged.

"After you were done throwing stuff and acting like an asshole," Cyborg replied.

"Well, where are they?" Flash asked.

"You're not going to like it: Chernobyl," Cyborg said.

"Doesn't that have a lot of intense radiation?" Flash said concerned.

"Yep, enough to start corrupting my systems," Cyborg agreed.

"Why would anyone want to settle there?" Aquaman wondered.

"They must be immune to the radiation. It's actually the perfect place. No one will go near there. They could have their own alien settlement there," Batman reasoned.

"Should we even be trying to stop them?" Flash said conflicted.

"Once they have all three motherboxes, they will bring millions, billions of aliens to Earth. We have to stop it," Batman said resolved.

"I agree," Aquaman said.

"Maybe, we can reason with Steppenwolf," Diana suggested.

"We can reason with him, once he is defeated," Batman said.

* * *

Batman went to his private quarters and took off his suit. Diana entered the room and saw him butt naked. "Are you hurt?" she asked concerned.

"Do I have to be to get naked?" he asked.

"Is this a bad time?" Diana asked.

"No, come in," Bruce said not making any effort to put clothes on. "My dick is a little out of place. You think you could fix it?"

Diana looked away embarrassed. "Wow," was all she could say.

Bruce went over to get himself a drink. "You know, you can't do this forever," she told him.

"I'll just use Ras Al Ghul's rejuvenation pit," Bruce said.

"What?" Diana wondered.

"Long story," Bruce said downing his drink.

"You're right about Steppenwolf. This is my job. I've just been reacting. Not leading," Diana admitted.

"I know," Bruce nodded condescendingly.

"That stuff about Steve, you were pushing me to lead the team. I understand that now," Diana said.

"Yeah, sure," Bruce allowed.

"But leaders get people killed," Diana added.

"I've gotten a lot of people killed, I mean a lot," Bruce said honestly.

"I fought when I was needed but not to lead," Diana said.

"Women shouldn't lead anyway," Bruce excused.

"It's just when things go wrong, when people die, it becomes your fault," Diana said sadly.

"This team needs a strong leader that's willing to make those sacrifices to complete the mission. I'm that man," Bruce told her. "If we get through tonight, you can go back to the shadows. I'll even make you a bat suit with very exaggerated boobs with nipples included."

"If we survive tonight," Diana smiled.

"If...I'll drink to that," Bruce said downing another glass.

* * *

**Smallville, Kansas**

Kara and Jimmy made love in the cornstalks. "I just figured you would want to do this indoors," Jimmy said afterward.

"I've been in a box for two years," Kara reminded him.

"You going to be homeless until you get over yourself?" Jimmy asked.

"Maybe," Kara smiled.

"What was it like being dead?" Jimmy asked.

"Itchy, I think I was in hell," Kara said concernedly.

"Kara, when you died, I wasn't as strong as before. My kill count went down. I wasn't the same. You would have been disappointed in me," Jimmy confessed.

"Don't worry, Jimmy. Together, we'll more than make up for it," Kara smiled kissing him lovingly.

"Kara?" Martha called out.

"I have to go, the fate of the planet and whatnot," Kara muttered.

"I understand. Don't get killed this time," Jimmy told her.

* * *

The Justice League entered the Bat transport plane and took off towards Chernobyl. Cyborg explained the game plane with holograms emitting from his forehead. "All three motherboxes combined will open a portal large enough to bring all of Steppenwolf's people across. If I can separate the boxes, I might be able to collapse the portal.

"So, we just pull the boxes apart, no fuss, no muss," Flash said.

"That's what I said," Cyborg said annoyed. "Separating the boxes will create a massive surge. I'll be there but the rest of you better get clear."

"Your sacrifice will not be in vain," Batman assured him.

"Thanks," Cyborg said sarcastically.

"We will be with you till the end," Diana said.

"It's alright. I actually want to die," Cyborg told her.

Aquaman shook his head. "Sounds like a lot of bullshit to me. I think we're all going to die, and the world is going to end. And you know what, I don't mind. It's an honorable end."

"You're going to escape to the ocean, aren't you?" Diana said unimpressed.

"Actually, yes. I mean, we don't have a fuck's chance of winning. Supergirl is a no-show, you have no powers, you're a fruit, this guy might be working for the enemy in some weird plot twist, and you are one fine piece of woman," Aquaman said finally to Diana.

"And you know what, I don't want to die. I got mermaid pussy to plow. I mean, I have been alone my whole life. I deserve to get laid once in a while, am I right?" Aquaman continued.

"By all means, keep going," Batman said amused.

Aquaman gave them odd looks. "Oh, what the fuck?" he said realizing Diana's lasso was underneath him.

"Very beautiful," Diana shook her head disappointed.

Aquaman went up to Flash. "You tell anyone else, and I'll have you eaten by every piranha I know."

"I honestly didn't hear anything after 'fruit'," Flash said nervously.

* * *

The Bat transport plane landed a distance away from the city. A large energy shield protected the city preventing them from entering. "Why are we so far away?" Flash wondered.

"Like that's a big problem for you," Aquaman scoffed.

"Stay here. I am going to take down that tower, bring down the shield, defeat Steppenwolf, and save the world myself," Batman said and then reentered the plane.

"What the...?" Diana protested.

The Bat transport plane took off leaving the rest of the Justice League behind. "Alfred, play 'Welcome to the Jungle' by ACDC," Batman ordered as he piloted the plane.

As the music blared, Batman flew towards the shield and launched a wave of missiles. Like a badass, Batman didn't wait to see whether he actually made a hole in the shield or not. The plane went through the shield and went straight for the tower attached to the old nuclear power plant.

Batman fired another wave of missiles blasting the tower down. The shield immediately came down, and Parademons quickly engaged the plane with plasma fire. The damaged plane went down crashing into several low buildings before settling. The Batmobile shot out of the flaming plane and took off towards Steppenwolf's fortress.

"Play 'Highway to the Dangerzone'," Batman ordered.

The Batmobile speakers blared the music as Batman fired on Parademons with machine gunfire. "The asshole is bringing all the Pardemons to the fortress," Cyborg noted.

"He wants to take them all himself," Diana realized.

"Can he really do that?" Flash wondered hopefully.

"Let's go," Diana said taking charge.

Batman laughed hysterically as he continued to fire on Parademons and then blasted down a tower with his cannon. The tower fell on a number of structures crushing some of the Parademons and creating a dust cloud. Batman fired on any Parademon that came out of the cloud. One Parademon got on top of the Batmobile and tore the windshield off.

"Son-of-a-bitch," Batman grumbled as the Parademons tore into his Batmobile.

Diana swung into action taking the Parademon away with her. Batman continued his assault blasting through old abandoned buildings instead of taking slight detours. Aquaman got on top of the Batmobile with his trident. "This wasn't the plan," Batman muttered.

"No, this is the team," Alfred smirked.

"Fuck the team," Batman replied.

"Your genius move was dying. You really are out of your mind," Aquaman remarked.

"I'm not the one that brought a pitchfork," Batman shot back.

Aquaman leaped up and took out a Parademon with his trident. Other Parademons took hold of him battling him in the air. He fought them off and began to fall to his death when Cyborg took hold of him. "My man!" Aquaman said pleased.

"Really?" Cyborg said insulted and then dropped him.

Aquaman took out a Parademon by throwing his trident like a spear and then landed on a building. He surfed through the building until he was outside again. "Wow, surfing through concrete is nothing like surfing through water," he said as his feet felt hurt. He then limped off barely able to walk.

Batman kept going with his Batmobile but then hit rough alien terrain and flipped over. Batman ejected near the fortress and took out more Parademons with his gadget bombs. Out of disposable weapons, Batman took out his EMP device and triggered it. The EMP device hit the Parademons dropping them and temporarily deactivated the motherboxes. Cyborg also fell to the ground with a thud.

"You had that this entire time?" Diana asked outraged.

"Clear a path for me to get to Steppenwolf," Batman ordered.

"No, fuck you," Diana told him and engaged Steppenwolf herself.

Flash brought an inactive Cyborg inside the fortress. "I m going need time to reboot," Cyborg slurred his words.

"Yeah, sure," Flash said looking around for Parademons. He spotted them and went super-speed pushing them all away. He then ran on the wall taking out more Parademons while Batman floated overhead. Flash then tripped over himself and fell to the ground with a thud. "Ow," he muttered pathetically.

Batman confiscated a plasma rifle and began firing on Parademons getting as many kills as he could. Aquaman and Diana engaged Steppenwolf with no success both getting their asses kicked. Cyborg rebooted and began tinkering with the motherbox cubes. Steppenwolf came up behind him and scythe bladed him to the shoulder.

"Oh come on!" Cyborg said as he was dragged away.

Diana slammed her bracelet on her shield creating a shock wave that collapsed the bridge they were on. All of them fell to the lower level. Batman continued his kill streak. "The alien terrain is spreading. The civilians are not going to make it," Alfred said bored.

"Interesting," Batman replied and continued to kill Parademons.

Cyborg rocketed back up to the motherbox. Steppenwolf tried to get to him but was pulled back by Diana's lasso. Steppenwolf struggled against her, but Aquaman came in to assist her. "Don't worry. A man is here," he said condescendingly.

"Oh really?" Diana said insulted and let go.

Steppenwolf pulled Aquaman into the air and threw him against the walls. Cyborg blasted Steppenwolf to the face dropping him to the lower level. Diana took hold of the lasso again and tried to restrain Steppenwolf herself. "Tell me, why are you really here?" she questioned.


	7. Chapter 7

"To save my people," Steppenwolf said honestly.

"What will happen if we stop you?" Diana asked.

"Darkseid will destroy my people. Those that survive will be his slaves," Steppenwolf said.

"These Parademons are your slaves?" Diana questioned.

"No, they are here of their free will," Steppenwolf replied. "They modified their bodies to be a powerful fighting force to save their families."

"That's so sweet," Diana said losing resolve.

Meanwhile, Batman killed as many Parademons as he could and ran out of batteries. Cyborg worked on the motherbox and was stabbed in the back again by Steppenwolf. "Bitch, I'm working," Cyborg said blasting Steppenwolf away with his plasma cannon. Steppenwolf took Cyborg over his head and pulled off one of his legs disabling him.

"You're all too weak to see the truth," Steppenwolf growled.

"Well, I believe in truth," Supergirl said from behind. She was wearing her old uniform with an inconvenient hole that exposed her right boob.

Steppenwolf gave her a surprised look. "But I'm also a big fan of…," Kara continued and then forgot what she was going to say.

Steppenwolf gave her a dumbfounded look. "A fan of justice…that's it," Kara remembered and then punched Steppenwolf into a wall.

"Alright," Aquaman nodded in approval.

"Kryptonian!" Steppenwolf spat as he charged her.

He went for a punch that Kara easily dodged. She slammed him down to the lower level. Aquaman took his trident and pinned Steppenwolf down. Meanwhile, Batman went to fix Cyborg's leg. Kara landed near Batman and Cyborg.

"Sup?" she said with her usual spunk.

"We need you to buy us some time to stop this box from opening a portal that will allow more of those things through," Batman explained.

"I figured you wouldn't have resurrected me to say sorry or anything," Kara said sarcastically.

"Fuck no. You got killed on your own," Batman said.

"Right now, I am the only one that can save the world, so you better start being nice to me," Kara said obnoxiously.

"Yeah right, I would rather die," Batman disagreed.

"Same," Cyborg agreed.

Kara could hear something disturbing in the distance. "Civilians," she realized.

"Yeah?" Batman wondered.

Kara shrugged. "Anyway, I figure I'll kill the big idiot over there since you guys are having so much trouble with him," she said condescendingly.

"Yeah, you do that. I am going to help Cyborg," Batman said trying to sound useful.

Flash then appeared next to Kara. "Wow, you're back. I just love the way you do your hair. What shampoo do you use?"

"Well, actually…," Kara smiled.

"Barry, rescue the civilians," Batman ordered.

"Oh, right. Back in a flash," Flash said and took off at super-speed.

Aquaman and Diana dueled Steppenwolf with their weapons with some success. After the beating Kara gave, Steppenwolf was starting to slow down. The pair was on the verge of defeating him when Kara punched Steppenwolf to the floor and fired heat vision into his body. She then took hold of him and threw him against a wall. Steppenwolf groaned as he took up his scythe blade. He swung at her missing.

Kara blew frost breath on his scythe blade while Diana broke the staff in two with her sword. Kara, Diana, and Aquaman advanced on Steppenwolf for the kill. "Please, we are only trying to flee from Darkseid. We are refugees. We only want peace," Steppenwolf begged.

"You telling me those giant mosquitoes out there are people?" Aquaman doubted.

"Darkseid conquers all in his path. We need the motherboxes to create portals that will allow us to come here. Together, we can stop Darkseid," Steppenwolf explained.

"I think it would be cool to fight this Darkseid one-on-one," Kara said thoughtfully.

"Are you insane? We barely defeated him," Diana objected.

"Yeah, you losers may have had trouble. I didn't even break a sweat," Kara said condescendingly.

"Look here, Missy. We have been in this fight from the beginning," Aquaman said offended.

"I was around kicking ass long before Bruce pulled you out of the ocean," Kara shot back.

"How about I give you another stabbing," Aquaman threatened.

"Oh, you want another ass-kicking? I will end you right here," Kara said confidently.

"Is this real? Is this happening?" Steppenwolf wondered.

Kara turned to Steppenwolf who was struggling to get to his feet. "In America, if you want to get in, you have to stand in line just like everyone else," she said.

"This is America?" Steppenwolf asked confused.

"The whole world is America," Kara told him obviously.

"No, I don't believe it! I will not be defeated!" he whined and then summoned Parademons to his aid.

The roof suddenly cracked open, and a strong magnetic pull sent pieces of metal, Parademons, and Steppenwolf into the air. Kara kept herself planted as the other Justice League members took hold of something for dear life.

"I know this power," Diana frowned.

* * *

In space, scrap metal, Parademons, and Steppenwolf floated towards a green sun. Despite their struggle, all of them fell into the green sun and were consumed. "Gravity's a bitch," Hal smirked and then flew towards Russia.

Hal landed in the ruined fortress and greeted the other Justice League members. "I took care of your pest problem," he said smiling.

"Yeah, great," Kara said annoyed that she didn't get the kill.

"You destroyed Steppenwolf? On your own?" Aquaman doubted.

"Yeah, I'm basically a god," Hal said, proud of himself.

"He's not a god. He's a Green Lantern," Diana clarified for everyone.

"Same thing," Hal said arrogantly.

"Can you destroy these motherboxes?" Cyborg asked.

"I have a better idea," Hal said and put the three motherboxes together with his ring. A portal opened linking to another planet. Hal aimed his ring at the portal and fired green energy through it. The green beam of energy hit the planet on the other side and completely destroyed it. Hal whiffed his ring like it was a pistol.

"Still doesn't solve the problem of these motherboxes," Cyborg said as the other league members look on stunned.

"I can send them to the far reaches of space, so they become someone else's problem," Hal offered.

"You could have been useful a few days ago," Batman said annoyed. "With your help, we wouldn't have needed to resurrect this blond ditz."

"Hey! Fuck you, buddy," Kara said offended.

"Look, I am getting a lot less worship and way too much sass here," Hal said displeased.

"Why you little," Kara said angrily but then fell to her knees as Hal created green kryptonite from his ring.

"That's right, on your knees," Hal said pleased.

"That's a nice trick," Batman complimented.

"I know, right," Hal said amused and then suddenly powered down. "What the fuck?" he wondered completely naked.

"No buttons or knobs. It must be based on concentration," Batman figured holding the green ring.

"Give that back," Hal demanded but Batman quickly placed the ring in a yellow pouch on his utility belt.

"Not fair, man. I need that back. The Guardians will kill me," Hal pleaded.

The Justice League members ignored him except for Flash. "Looking real good there. You work out?" Flash asked awkwardly.

"Barry, let's move out. You can look at naked men when we get back," Aquaman told him.

"I'm not gay!" Flash said defensively. He gave Hal one last look and then sped off to regroup with the others.

* * *

The Justice League members looked over the weird alien environment that had been created. It was a Garden of Eden with alien vegetation and flowers over what had been a dead land. The Russian populace looked over their land in awe.

"We've put this town on the map for tourism," Cyborg commented.

"We have no way of getting back since you crashed the transport plane and your batmobile," Diana pointed out.

"I have my own ride," Batman said unconcernedly and pointed to Kara.

"What makes you think I'm going to give you a ride?" Kara said disdainfully.

"I'll buy the bank that is foreclosing on your mother's house," Batman said bluntly.

"Sold!" Kara said happily and flew off with Batman.

"Well, I will see you at the next meeting," Flash said and then sped off.

"Yeah, nice meeting you all," Cyborg said and then used his rocket engines to fly off.

"Well, it looks like we're going to be here for a while. You want to come with me to get a beer, maybe get a hotel room, have some sex," Aquaman offered.

"Aren't you married?" Diana reminded him.

"Only when I am in the sea," Aquaman replied.

"I have a boyfriend," Diana said blocking him.

"Oh, well, that's cool," Aquaman said awkwardly. "We can still get a beer."

"No," Diana rejected.

* * *

**Smallville, Kansas**

Bruce visited Smallville, Kansas as Kara and Jimmy worked to put Martha's stuff back into her house. "You still have that asshole's ring?" Kara asked Bruce.

"Yep," Bruce replied nonchalantly.

"I thought we needed that guy to send the motherboxes into deep space," Kara recalled.

"That's true, but why would we want to do that? The motherboxes open portals to new worlds we can't even imagine. If we can find a way to use them, we could go to those worlds," Bruce said.

"You want to be an explorer?" Kara wondered.

"Not really. On the other side of those portals is the ultimate challenge: Darkseid. I'm going to kick his ass," Bruce promised.

"You would risk the entire planet to feed your ego," Kara chided.

"Yes," Bruce said simply.

* * *

**Apokalips**

A sniveling shade came before Darkseid's throne. "My Lord, Steppenwolf has been defeated by Earth's heroes."

Darkseid glared at the shade with red hot eyes. "Who?"


End file.
